January 4th, 1832 11:51 AM

     Good day today. I am told by FitzRoy that we drop anchor in the Madeira Islands, our first port of call, this evening. The conditions look favorable and we should arrive earlier than expected. Darwin, the ship's amateur naturalist, is suffering a bout of seasickness, so he cannot observe the brilliant day and the coruscating surface of the ocean, though I am certain he would admire it if he were out on deck. I start toward the lunchroom, for though the day's beauty is not lost on me, I know the necessity of eating, having endured quite a few famines in my time.
     As I entered, a scruffy crew member, not a Stofer customer, stopped me. He said in a low, aggressive voice, "Cap'n wants you in his cabin with Bart on the double! I slid up the greasy, beer-stained stairs and spun towards the captain's cabin. I ran to the stairs leading to FitzRoy's cabin. However, I slipped, and I fell through a tight hatch into a room filled with barrels of all shapes and sizes. I figured this must be the captain's storeroom. I heard a frantic, incessant screeching and saw a fetid rat dash by. Before I could let myself be, I drew my blade and cut the rat in two.
     Now for getting out of here... I noticed a coil of rope lying in the corner. Just as I snatched the frayed end, a stowaway looking rather pale and trying to hold something in a crude paper cup grabbed the other end and started to pull with a large effort. The rope slipped through my fingers, not only giving me a rope burn but robbing me of escape, when I drew my sword before the stowaway realized I had a sword and cut through his end of the rope. Luckily, it did not shatter. I threw the rope up at the distant hatch. It caught on a rusty metal hook a crew member must have put there, while the stowaway was now holding a shotgun and yelling, "You shall not escape Hilot, fool!" As I climbed up the rope, giving myself more rope burn, I considered whether or not to tell the captain about the stowaway. I decided to keep the information until later, as I realized I had 'Hilot' in my debt- and it is useful, always, to have a person or two in your debt.
     As I got out of the hatch, I dashed, finally, to the captain's cabin, slipped on another beer spill, and greeted the captain, who replied, "Oh, never mind. Now, about that phrenology."
    "What the heck?!?" I replied. "Phrenology. Havenšt you heard of it?" replied the captain.
    I caught on and said, "Oh, that. I thought you meant polemology."
    "Well, then let's get started," the captain said with great enthusiasm as he slid his scabby, wrinkled fingers through my hair. He mumbled, "Hmm... no, can't have that... no, only 4th degree... here... oh good... finished... nope... acquisitiveness... there we go! You are a likeable, helpful person that may burst when provoked. Also, you are constructive and very acquisitive. Thank you... Go make the most of your day!" then did the same for Bartholemeu, I think, as I then left the room.