Commander's Log: Cameron Campbell
Stardate Z275A
25TOR

   Here I am, resting in Fredland. I could go to Catland or Jonathanland or Dogland... Who comes up with these names?!? I came here on an errand. To get parts for a Delta-A45 Starfighter, my design, which, though completely aerodynamic and armed, is also not yet constructed. However, the sale of weapons is prohibited, so I'll have to buy components and make the armament myself. How did I get here? I got sucked off HMS Beagle through a cartoon portal, to land here in the GHM (Geocentric Habitat Module) Beagle. So here I am, purchasing an electronic torch, metal, exotic and expensive Ilur crystal bracelets, more metal, an alarm clock, propulsion motors for skybikes, plasma welding torches, the latest security system, some refined plasma, a plasma spreader (designed to fuse paint to a wall with a light sheet of plasma), and some missile launchers without the missiles from a seedy back alley store. Metal cat claws, springs, leather/Kevlar/slightly rubber, magnets, more refined plasma, rubber bands, a metal sphere and tube, two more electronic torches, oversized radio-control gliders (titanium), a little metal periscope, surround sound speakers, more metal, a belaying kit, and some electronics finish the job. I plan to arm my ship, but also to create a suit of hypermandalorian armor.
    So I have the leather/Kevlar/slightly rubber made into a jumpsuit, then attach some of the metal as breastplates, legplates and boots. In the soles of the boots, I hide two magnets, each neither north nor south. Magnetic boots! I affix one missile launcher to my back, attaching two torches to the bottom. I attach the metal cat claws to my hands, attached to the springs and ready to spring out at any moment. I attach the belaying rope to my left arm, then use some metal and a spring to convert it into an ultra-thin super-strength grappling hook. To my right arm I attach the torch. I attach the surround sound speakers to the outside of a metal helmet, sized to fit me, as well as the little metal periscope. To my arms and legs I attach the glider wings, making me incredibly aerodynamic. After using the Ilur crystals and metal to make a dazzling white lightsaber and making a Van de Graaf generator with my tube, sphere, more magnets, and attaching it to my back, as well as creating two blaster pistols and concealing a light laser in the helmet, I wire everything together to react to my thoughts and put it in my starfighter, armed with two missile launchers filled with explosive seismic charges, two laser cannons, flamethrowers, and a force field from the security system.
    Next is my best operation yet: creating a droid army. I buy the TIE fighter factory from the supervisor and modify it to make battle droids. They roll of the production lines in seconds: battle droids, super battle droids, droidekas, lightsaber-wielding 4-armed droids, partially invisible droids, flamethrower droids, and fast, built-in laser cannon droids, all with an independent central processor. I purchase a few transport ships and ferry the existing droids to Celchu Land, a sphere constructed of the same material of the Beagle orbiting the beagle. Celchu Land, totally uninhabited, has been renamed Mechis III.
    I keep control of the TIE factory, using the provided money to construct thousands of droid factories on Mechis III. I create a supervisor droid connecting directly to me, programmed with how to run the factories but transmitting to me in an emergency. Next to Mechis III is another orb, which I renamed Tatooine. I have constructed droid training bunkers and appointed generals and commanders based on how well individuals do in the field against aliens that I have imported from faraway planets. I give all unit commanders enhanced intelligence whenever they promote, enabling them to command better. There is a cloaking device concealing both areas, so only one who knows where they are can enter them. My commanding general is a 4-armed lightsaber droid, given a cool, calculating mind and a human brain. He has chosen the name Grievous, though droids are only named at their first promotion. Unit 7179522142119 he was, aware that he could become Commander Grievous in a day. He is the reason I could tackle Darth Maul any day. We spar, I using my single lightsaber and force powers, as well as my armor, him using his 4 sabers. We have always proven to be an equal match, him blocking my most ruthless blows and I his most planned.
    Now I have learned that the Stofer Interface is simply a facet of the force, one that only a great Jedi or a very influential tour guide can command. I have often channeled its energies to take me to Mustafa or the Naboo jungles, where I meditate and hone my force powers. The interface was dropping items around the HMS Beagle because of the presence of a Sith. But who? "Darth Barth you will vanquish," said a squeaky voice behind me. "Delusional, he is. Sith, he is not," said the voice. I spun around, noticing a small green creature emerge from the swamps behind my meditation area on Dagobah. "Fight alongside you as Master Bartholomeu he shall. Fight Malik and Krai-kan you will. Win only with the help of Grievous you shall. For I am Yoda," the green creature concluded.
   "Thank you. I am in your debt forever," I thanked him.
   He disappeared, and a voice uttered, "Seek the Leviathan you must!" then all was silent.